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View Full Version : Needed - Spell to get rid of Gremlins



Angus
05-22-2006, 12:23 PM
Well, it was quite a session this weekend. First, started my Blackberry (1 gal) and Sweet Cherry (1 gal) Meads. 3.25 lb of honey in each along with the fruit. D47 took off like crazy, with activity in 2 hours. Used blow-off tubes. Fortunately, I left them in the sink (because I was too lazy to take them out) so the mess that followed was easily cleaned.

7 hours later, I came back to find the blow-off tube of the blackberry had been blown off!!!

Lost about 1/3 of the fruit. Cleaned everything well, reinserted the stopper, and watched to make sure the fruit in the jug was not being pushed up. Everything looked fairly calm at this point, so to bed I went.

Went down Sunday afternoon to find the damned (don't pardon my french since they never should be pardoned ;) ) blow-off tube was once more not in the jug and another 1/3 of the fruit was decorating the bottom of the sink >:( >:(

Somewhat angrily began to sanitize everything again, when the Gremlin decided to pop his head in and mess things up again. My head knocked the carboy brush off its hook above the sink. This then fell onto a table and knocked over my hydrometer tube (fortunately the hydro was sitting about 2 feet away on a plastic lid). The brush then landed in my freshly poured pint of Irish Red Ale, spilling that onto the table and floor. In my rush to grab the glass, I knocked the brush back toward the table, where it happily connected with the hydrometer lying innocently off by itself and sent it to its grave in a million pieces on the floor >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:(

#@*!ing $%#^@ %@$%#^ *&@ @%^#^@ !!!!!! >:(

Now, I need to head off to the LHBS to buy a new hydro and to the grocery store for more fruit. If I catch that little gremlin ^%$#, I shall show him just how much I learned from Silence of the Lambs.

Angus

WRATHWILDE
05-22-2006, 01:32 PM
Angus,

The gremlin you are afflicted with goes by the name of Sugna, a nasty little blighter. You've seen him most every day of your life but probably weren't aware of his name. The only way to get rid of him is to dispose of all the mirrors and reflective surfaces in your house... as this is where he lives. Hope that helps.

Wrathwilde

Dan McFeeley
05-22-2006, 02:20 PM
If removing all reflective surfaces doesn't stop the Sugna, you might try a remedy from Roald Dahl, who seems to be an authority on gremlins. Set out a chocolate mead, infused with the proper potion, and the Sugna will turn into a mouse and be rendered harmless.

Oh, we need the formula for the potion. Oh well. . .

yabodie
05-22-2006, 02:24 PM
The little puck is also called Murphy and he has associated laws. This bastard has the tendency to show up at the most inopportune time to cause the most damage in the shortest amount of time.

I recommend that you send me all your mead, for safe keeping mind you.
>:D >:D >:D

Miriam
05-22-2006, 03:57 PM
Dan said:
Oh, we need the formula for the potion. Oh well. . .


No problem, Shakespeare provided a dandy formula, part of which goes like this:

"Fillet of a fenny snake,
In the cauldron boil and bake;
Eye of newt and toe of frog,
Wool of bat and tongue of dog,
Adder's fork and blind-worm's sting,
Lizard's leg and owlet's wing,
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble."

I can't think of a gremlin who could stand up to that.

Miriam
edited to make the formula legible

Oskaar
05-22-2006, 05:16 PM
Generally I find that to get rid of gremlins the following works well:

1. A feather rubbed along the inside of a virgin's thigh
2. An alternating crosshatching pattern made in the air facing north, south, east, and west by a consecrated sword of St Hubert
3. Thyme, sage and myrrh with the fur of a white wolf, burned in a censer around your meadery three times counter clockwise, the three times clockwise
4. Offering three bottles of your finest up to Oskaar LOL

Cheers,

Oskaar

WRATHWILDE
05-22-2006, 05:37 PM
4. Offering three bottles of your finest up to Oskaar LOL


The first three are obviously just for effect. But the forth is infinitely more dangerous, offering up three bottles of mead to Oskaar is a veiled incantation summoning him to your meadery. Your mead will be safe from Sugna, but it will also be safe from consumption by anyone but Oskaar... he'll make off with any available honey as well.

Wrathwilde

Marko DaBeest
05-22-2006, 06:50 PM
Sugna is a minor league nuissance compared to Oskaar. Now there's a playa I want on my team. Unfortunately I think he's working with Enron right now, but I've made an aggressive offer to bring him aboard. He has moves I haven't even tried yet. I think he was hanging out with Martha Stewart for awhile as her advisor.

DaBeest

Oskaar
05-22-2006, 07:02 PM
Dude, You're gonna have to beat Hilary Clinton's bid. She'll be running in '08 and has made me a lucrative offer with options on several properties around the globe, and some interesting leveraged petrolium and defense funds.

Cheers,

Oskaar

WRATHWILDE
05-22-2006, 07:27 PM
Dude, You're gonna have to beat Hilary Clinton's bid. She'll be running in '08 and has made me a lucrative offer with options on several properties around the globe, and some interesting leveraged petrolium and defense funds.


Oskaar likes to exaggerate... the offer was to SERVE as her intern. :P

Wrathwilde

Marko DaBeest
05-22-2006, 07:41 PM
Heh Heh Heh,

Not a chance, old piano legs needs help and she's looking to the darkside for it! LOL

DaBeest

NeadMead
05-24-2006, 01:19 AM
Sorry I cannot help you, Angus. My training and knowldge of intruder defense lies in natural animals and humans. not the supernatural. Good luck with those little b@$#@%&$.

Johnnybladers
05-24-2006, 09:01 PM
While no expert by any means, I'd have to advise against Oskaar's incantation. As wrathwilde pointed out, you may oust the Sugna, but you will most certainly invite in a very thirsty Raakso. Be afraid, be very afraid >:D

WRATHWILDE
05-24-2006, 09:55 PM
Raakso.


Finally someone besides Angus gets it!!! ;D

Wrathwilde

Dan McFeeley
05-25-2006, 12:31 AM
Raakso.


Finally someone besides Angus gets it!!! ;D

Wrathwilde


I think most of us got it, we were just milking the thread for as much mileage as possible. ;D ;D ;D

Angus
05-25-2006, 10:32 AM
Got what?

Angus

Dan McFeeley
05-25-2006, 12:53 PM
Got what?

Angus


Oh, well, it seems that sugna is an ingredient in Italian cooking, used in frying or for making pie crusts, usually savory pies. It's basically reconstituted pork fat, also known as strutto.

That's one greasy gremlin you're dealing with!

WRATHWILDE
05-25-2006, 01:10 PM
Sugna is an ingredient in Italian cooking. It's basically reconstituted pork fat.


McFeeley,

That's rich. ;)

Wrathwilde

NeadMead
05-26-2006, 01:59 AM
those Damned gremlins are in high motivation mode right now watch your backs sides and fronts. >:D They are evil little creatures who love to reack havok everywhere they go. they are everywhere right now.

Angus
06-27-2006, 08:41 AM
>:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:(

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!

That Sugna Son of a Motherless Goat broke my new one.

^$# *%^%# ^&&^%^$ &*&*^%$$ %%@^ing no good ^%$%#%$^&%^%#$

GrantLee63
06-27-2006, 09:15 PM
Gremlins ..... Schmeglins ..... How many glasses of mead did you drink PRIOR to your 'session' last weekend Angus ? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? LOL !!!!!