View Full Version : You might be a viking if....

11-18-2006, 07:05 PM
Thought I'd see what you guys can think of please post whatever you can think of

Heres some I've collected


...if bartenders keep asking you, "What's mead?"

...if you rate your new cars in Oarpower instead of Horsepower.

...if you consider beer and herring a gourmet meal.

...if a strange, very big red-headed man shows up for dinner and eats you out of house and home.

...if your new girlfriend is dismayed to find that you've given a personal name to each one of your kitchen knives.

...if you think that a Lutheran is nothing more than a quick source of money.

...if you think that attacking and looting small towns is a good way to meet people.

...if, after reciting your family lineage and history, you find that your friends all left two hours ago.

...if you think that Helga, Gertruda and Snotra are really very pretty names for girls.

...if the best thing you can say about France is that you left most of it standing.

...if you've changed your name from Joe Schmit to Hrafnkel Niflgrimsson..

...if modern day piracy off of the Florida coast sounds to you like a good career opportunity.

...if you think that Old Norse is an easy-to-learn, attractive and user-friendly language.

...if your idea of heavy spices are salt and pepper.

...if you wave a spear over the visiting basketball team and offer their souls to Odin.

...if you think that a trip to Iowa is an exotic adventure, you might be a very brave viking.

...if you finish your European vacation with more money than when you started..

... if your idea of a first date is to burn down her village. - The Simpsons

and my own

... if you have a tan line on your face from the nasal bar of your helm.

... if you develop chain mail pattern baldness

... if you have a problem with dribbling mead into your beard.

... if you wear a shirt that says "Got Mead?"

... if a small slip in the kitchen with a "Kitchen Knife" results in 140 stitches to your rigth thigh (True story have the picture to prove it)
... if you insist on drinking mead only from the horn

... if your idea of a well balanced diet is to have a mead horn in each hand

11-18-2006, 07:28 PM
... your helmet has dents in it from people breaking beer bottles over your head (another true story)

11-21-2006, 01:31 AM
....if you carry a maul while shopping at the mall.....

11-21-2006, 01:01 PM
if you find yourself spending hours and hours and hours on gotmead.com

Scott Horner
11-22-2006, 09:51 AM
.... If you have ever had to remind someone that it's "Pillage THEN burn"

11-22-2006, 03:19 PM
....if you've ever lost your beard while deciding to let it burn or pour your mead on it.

David Baldwin
11-22-2006, 07:50 PM
If you've ever considered building a long boat as your "winter project" but couldn't find you woodworking tools among all the brewing equipment.

11-22-2006, 09:13 PM
...if lighting up after sex means torching the place.

...if your marriage proposal involves slaughtering her parents.

...if you consider rape and pillage an honest days work.

...if you discovered America and left - because the Natives didn't brew mead.