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View Full Version : Chili Tastings and General Jackassery



osluder
01-29-2009, 06:24 PM
Oskaar, there's an interesting analog in chili competitions to what you describe in wine judging: sometimes spice additions are made near the end of cooking right before judging so that certain flavors stand out as opposed to earlier so they are more integrated. "Competition" chili is often designed to grab the judges' attentions with a single spoonful, while "home" chili is meant to be enjoyed by the bowlful. -- Olen

Medsen Fey
01-30-2009, 01:07 PM
Heck there are some "experts" who will not do blind tastings. Hmmm, I wonder why?

Shanecb, you are quite correct. Ron Jackson's book wine science has some great info on tasting and perception and references that material as well as studies that have been done with opaque glasses that show many cannot distinguish between red or white wine. Perhaps even more interesting, just looking some colors such as red stimulates expectations of flavors such as strawberry or other red fruits that can increase taster's perception of these flavors. I guess the judges ought to be blindfolded (some of them perhaps bound and gagged as well ;D).

Olen, if chili judging in Texas is anything like what I've heard, I'm not sure I've got the intestinal fortitude necessary. See below

Warning Crude and Potentially Offensive Material Ahead - Proceed at Your Own Risk!



Texas Chili Contest
>> "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off.
>> The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to
>> be
>> standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the Coors
>> Light
>> truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges
>> (Native
>> Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told
>> me
>> I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted".
>>
>>
>>
>> Here are the scorecard notes from the event:
>>
>>
>> CHILI # 1 - MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI...
>>
>> Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
>>
>> Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
>>
>> Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy crap, what the hell is this stuff? You could
>> remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the
>> flames
>> out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.
>>
>>
>> CHILI # 2 - AUSTIN 'S AFTERBURNER CHILI...
>>
>> Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
>>
>> Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken
>>
>> seriously.
>>
>>
>>
>> Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what
>> I'm
>> supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted
>> to
>> give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they
>> saw
>> the look on my face.
>>
>>
>> CHILI # 3 - FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI...
>>
>> Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick.
>>
>> Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers.
>>
>> Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels
>> like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get
>> me
>> more beer before I ignite.Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone
>> is
>> in the front part of my chest. I'm getting shit-faced from all of the
>> beer.
>>
>>
>> CHILI # 4 - BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC...
>>
>> Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
>>
>> Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or
>> other mild foods, not much of a chili.
>>
>> Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable
>> to
>> taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beermaid, was
>> standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-LB woman is starting to
>> look
>> HOT...just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?
>>
>>
>> CHILI # 5 LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER...
>>
>> Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding
>> considerable kick. Very impressive.
>>
>> Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must
>> admit
>> the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
>>
>> Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I
>> can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed
>> paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili
>> had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring
>> beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips
>> off.
>> It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming.
>> Screw those rednecks.
>> CHILI # 6 - VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY...
>>
>> Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of
>> spices and peppers.
>>
>> Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and
>> garlic.
>> Superb.
>>
>> Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous,
>> sulfuric flames. I shit on myself when I farted and I'm worried it will
>> eat
>> through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that
>> Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my ass with a snow
>> cone.
>>
>>
>> CHILI # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI...
>>
>> Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
>>
>> Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of
>> chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried
>> about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing
>> uncontrollably.
>>
>> Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I
>> wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds
>> like
>> it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid
>> unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt.
>> At
>> least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to
>> stop
>> breathing it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway.
>> If
>> I need air, I'll just suck it in through the
>>
>> 4-inch hole in my stomach.
>>
>> CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI...
>>
>> Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too
>> bold
>> but spicy enough to declare its existence.
>>
>> Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild
>> nor
>> hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted,
>> passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself.
>> Not
>> sure if he's going to make it. poor feller, wonder how he'd have reacted
>> to
>> really hot chili?
>>
>> Judge # 3 - No Report
>>

Oskaar
01-30-2009, 02:03 PM
I moved our posts off of the Blind Tasting thread and onto their own. Chili is a subject that merits it's own thread and I wanted to keep the blind tasting thread pretty closely (at least by Got Mead's reckoning) on topic as much as possible.

I wondered who else was going to post this chili judge story. It's hilarious, I sent this around to my buddies after our annual chili-blowout and "Who Jacked my Lantern" All Hallows' Even party. I took some quick pics of the pumpkins with my phone.

Kee
01-30-2009, 04:31 PM
Medsen, I'm laughing so hard I can hardly breath! That was funny.