View Full Version : You're on your way to visit family and/or friends and . . .

12-10-2005, 08:26 AM
You see Santa Claus on the side of the road hitchhiking. He gets in the car and he is obviously blasted on cheap grain alcohol, and smells like he's been pickled for the last three days running.

He takes one look at you, lurches forward and hurls on your dashboard, then passes out. You notice as he is snoring away and croaking out superlatives in his DT infected dreams that he has his "magic" gift bag in hand. You manage to work it out of his hand and open it to extract the gift you want most.

What do you pull out from the bag?

12-10-2005, 10:40 AM
Jessica Alba.

12-10-2005, 12:30 PM
Mouko thinks the way I think. ;D

I don't want anything except for peace on Earth and goodwil towards mankind.

And sex.


12-10-2005, 02:05 PM
A sober Santa to collect the drunk Santa & the mess he made in my car. An 18lb. bucket of honey which is full every time the lid is removed, would be a nice parting gift.


12-10-2005, 09:39 PM
I'd check his pockets and take the keys to his magic sleigh so I could save money on gas. Then I'd take his bag back home with me, so I could toss back in and get rid of some of those lousy sweaters he's been bringing me for the last few years.

Questions: If you were to turn his reindeer into some really choice cuts, marinade them in your finest mead, and then grill them to perfection, would you gain the power to fly? And would it be bad of you to deny Santa of his normal mode of travel (and thus, the world of an ancient tradition) in order to reach for this power, or would the very rarity of the opportunity and potential gain involved make any action you take rather beyond mundane moral codes? Oh, yeah, and do you think they'd be gamey? I hate that gamey flavor.


12-10-2005, 09:51 PM
Well, I don't think you'd have to eat all the reindeer, but if you wanted to... My question is, if you eat Rudolf, will your nose start to glow?

12-11-2005, 12:07 AM
I'm thinking enough mead will make your nose glow well enough. :D

12-11-2005, 12:26 AM
http://ia.imdb.com/media/imdb/01/I/52/81/88m.jpg Evangeline Lily


12-11-2005, 03:51 PM
The Ownership rights to a state of the art Meadery, and Nursery in Amsterdam. Got to have other hobbies too. ;D ;D


12-11-2005, 03:55 PM
Well, I don't think you'd have to eat all the reindeer, but if you wanted to... My question is, if you eat Rudolf, will your nose start to glow?

Good question, since this could save considerable money over the long term in electricty costs around the house -- an important point for a Cheap Yankee like myself.


12-11-2005, 10:12 PM
No gamey flavor. Are you insane in the membrane??? That's the whole idea of game! The meat they sell in the butcher shop is so genericized that to feel really alive I need to have meat that actually lets me know that it was frolicking around just a few days ago.


But seriously, I JONES in a major way for real game, and that real meat flavor. Store bought beef is fine, but game is where the flavor is. Match that game up to a fine mead or wine and life is good!



Marko DaBeest
12-12-2005, 10:34 PM
I pull out a shilaleigh toss the drunken fatman in the pit of despair and lay the smack down on JC and his old man.