View Full Version : Paddy's Sick Note

12-11-2005, 11:35 AM
Dear Sir, I write this note to you to tell you of me plight
And at the time of writing I am not a pretty sight
Me body is all black and blue, me face a deathly gray
And I write this note to say why Paddy's not at work today

While working on the fourteenth floor some bricks I had to clear
Now to throw them down from such a height it was not a good idea
The foreman wasn't very pleased, he bein' an awkward sod
He said I'd have to cart them down the ladders in me hod

Now clearing all these bricks by hand it was so very slow
So I hoisted up a barrel and secured the rope below
But in me haste to do the job I was too blind to see
That a barrel full of building bricks was heavier than me

So when I untied the rope the barrel fell like lead
And clinging tightly to the rope I started up instead
Well, I shot up like a rocket 'til to my dismay I found
That halfway up I met the bloody barrel coming down

Well, the barrel broke me shoulder as to the ground it sped
And when I reached the top I banged the pulley with me head
While I clung on tight all numb with shock from this almighty blow
And the barrel spilled out half the bricks fourteen floors below

Now, when these bricks had fallen from the barrel to the floor
I then outweighed the barrel and so started down once more
Still clinging tightly to the rope I sped towards the ground
And I landed on the broken bricks that were all scattered round

Well, I laid there groaning on the ground I thought I'd passed the worst
When the barrel hit the pulley wheel and then the bottom burst
Well, a shower of bricks rained down on me, I hadn't got a hope
As I lay there moaning on the ground, I let go the bloody rope

The barrel then being heavier it started down once more
And landed right across me as I lay upon the floor
Well it broke three ribs and my left arm and I can only say
That I hope you'll understand why Paddy's not at work today

Sung by the Dubliners

Dan McFeeley
12-11-2005, 12:17 PM
Thanks for posting this -- I heard it years ago on NPR's "Thistle & Shamrock" program and thought it was great.

The Dubliners -- I'd love to hear Ronnie Drew singing this one.

12-11-2005, 01:22 PM
That's awesome.

12-11-2005, 07:35 PM
The "Myth Buster's" tried to emulate this.

The barrel was made of stern stuff, so they had to sabotage the barrel to get it to smash on impact.

Anyone remember the outcome (I think it might have been plausible or busted, most likely busted) ?

12-11-2005, 10:00 PM
So what do you call a drunken Irishman on the lawn?

Paddy O'Furniture. ;D ;D ;D

12-11-2005, 10:19 PM
An Irishman is never drunk as long as
He can hold onto one blade of grass and not
Fall off the face of the earth.


12-11-2005, 10:26 PM
Why are there so few Irish lawyer's?

They can't pass the bar.

But this has to be the best Irish joke ever...

An Irishman walked out of a bar.


Scott Horner
12-12-2005, 10:31 AM
Since we are poking fun at our Irish friends.....

I am a WereIrishman .... every night I turn into a bar.....

And one of my favorites

Bailey's Irish Cream - Leave it to an Irish Man to figure out how to make a cow give whiskey.

We kid because we love


Dan McFeeley
12-12-2005, 12:22 PM
Since we are poking fun at our Irish friends.....

I'm steaming over this -- gotta count to ten before I lose my cool.

One. Two. Three. Four. uh, Five, dang it, lost count. That's what I get for counting Guinness pints. ;D

12-12-2005, 03:49 PM
Only five pints????

You can't be a real Irishman. Unless of course you put the decimal point in the wrong place!



Dan McFeeley
12-12-2005, 05:11 PM
Only five pints????

I think. Maybe. After all, I did lose count. ::)

12-12-2005, 05:17 PM
Maybe you were counting bottles of whiskey... in which case you lost count at cúig bhuidéal.


Dan McFeeley
12-12-2005, 05:31 PM
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Another cuigiu!

12-12-2005, 05:51 PM
I had an Irish girl for a while some years back, the only thing in Gaidhlig I ever picked up is pog mo thoin.


Marko DaBeest
12-12-2005, 10:03 PM
As a kid I once asked my father for $10 so I could get a Guinea Pig.

He gave me a twenty and said GO FIND A NICE IRISH GIRL!