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Thread: The rules of our meaderies!

  1. Default The rules of our meaderies!

    So I was wondering if anyone had rules or guidelines in their meaderies? I made these in fun, but almost all are based on actual experiences.

    Mouko's Meadery Rules

    No farting. (Small room, no ventilation... 'nuff said.)

    No pesticides; they taste bad in mead. Instead, cellar rats will be beaten.

    If the doors are closed, they are to remain closed until such a time as I open them.

    No asking, “When will it be done?” “When can we try some?” and the like. For every question, 6 months extra aging for each mead.

    Consider any honey in the meadery hazardous to your health… That is, you eat it, you die.

    The bottle drying tree does just that: It dries bottles. Drying clothes on it is not a good idea.

    No, the brew pot will not be, "good for making chili."

    Contrary to what you think, opening the doors and throwing the dog on me is not funny.

    Airlocks are there for a reason; taking them off to smell the mead, then not putting them back on, defeats the purpose.


    That's it, so far. How about you? Any rules you have?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    The OC
    Posts
    7,874

    Default Re: The rules of our meaderies!

    Hellstrom's Hive Meadworx has two simple rules:

    1. Oskaar is boss

    2. When in doubt refer to rule one.

    Cheers,

    Oskaar
    Is it tasty . . . precious?

  3. Default Re: The rules of our meaderies!

    Oskaar,
    you're forgetting rule #3 : If you don't like rules 1 & 2, don't let the door hit you where the Good Lord split you!!

    Cheers,
    Brewbear

  4. Default Re: The rules of our meaderies!

    Two drink minimum

  5. #5

    Default Re: The rules of our meaderies!

    No spitting.

    Wrathwilde

  6. Default Re: The rules of our meaderies!

    I might incorporate all of those into my own, except I don't know how it looks when I have, "Oskaar is boss" on my wall.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Milwaukee, WI
    Posts
    908

    Default Re: The rules of our meaderies!

    "If you don't ask how much that last piece of equipment cost, I won't have to tell you".

    Angus
    Chan fhíach cuírm gun a còmhradh

    A feast is no use without good talk.

  8. Default Re: The rules of our meaderies!

    No licking the sides of carboys. (I've done this on occasion.)

  9. #9

    Default Re: The rules of our meaderies!

    This for the local Nosy Parkers:

    "Please refrain from giving the owner advice."

    (Can't stand know-it-all busybodies.)

    Miriam
    Miriam the Mead Bubeh
    Israeli Kitchen www.mimi54.wordpress.com

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    Cedar Rapids, IA
    Posts
    1,867

    Default Re: The rules of our meaderies!

    Miriam,

    About that lavender mead you are making....

    *ducks and runs*

    With a grin and a wink,
    Pewter

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    Cedar Rapids, IA
    Posts
    1,867

    Default Re: The rules of our meaderies!

    Add to the list:

    If you really seek knowledge about meadmaking, ask sincere, intelligent questions and I will answer as best I can...

  12. #12

    Default Re: The rules of our meaderies!

    Quote Originally Posted by Pewter_of_Deodar
    If you really seek knowledge about meadmaking, ask sincere, intelligent questions and I will answer as best I can...
    Won't answer dumb questions Pewter... or don't want to look foolish if you get them wrong? :P

    Wrathwilde (Ducking, Running and jumping out the window to safety)

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    Grand Rapids, MI
    Posts
    860

    Default Re: The rules of our meaderies!

    I was surprised to discover that I had to establish two rules right off the bat.

    #1. No, I can't and won't sell you a bottle/batch.
    #2. If you want me to make a batch for you:
    A. You buy the honey, yeast, airlock, bung, bucket, and carboy.
    B. You must be present, paying attention and taking notes.
    C. You get to do ONE batch in my meadworks - from there on you have
    the proper equipment to do it in your own basement.

    One additional "guideline" rather than a rule...

    D. My help is free, my time is not. Please deposit 12 pounds of any variety of honey at the door.


    David
    David Baldwin
    Michigan Meadery LLC

    www.michiganmeadery.com

  14. Default Re: The rules of our meaderies!

    Quote Originally Posted by Angus
    "If you don't ask how much that last piece of equipment cost, I won't have to tell you".
    Amen to that, brother! I have a strict "Don't ask, don't tell" policy when it comes to my equipment. It's widely known that when I say "I need to run to the brew shop" money will change hands that day.

  15. Default Re: The rules of our meaderies!

    I only have one rule:

    #1: I have no clue what I am doing, but I make it up as I go along, cross my fingers, pray, and hope for the best.

    Nate

  16. Default Re: The rules of our meaderies!

    "Constantly nagging me with questions will only serve to confuse you further, as I can assure you I am the wrong person to ask."

    One of these days, I might even read a book or something on this homebrewed mead and beer hobby. Otherwise, all I know is what I get from here and my local homebrew supply shop. Scary.

  17. #17
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Twin Cities
    Posts
    1,386

    Default Re: The rules of our meaderies!

    The first rule of mead club is: you do not talk about meadclub.

    The second Rule of Mead club is: you do no talk about mead club

    One drink at a time

    And the final rule of mead club: If this is your first night at meadclub,

    you have to brew.
    Go On, Take The Honey and Run

  18. Default Re: The rules of our meaderies!

    Rule 1. When I am brewing, the kitchen is mine. No other cooking/food prep is allowed.
    Rule 2. If you come in the kitchen, you have just volunteered - please wash your hands.
    Rule 3. All of the honey in the house is mine. You want some for your tea, ask me first.
    Rule 4. If you don't know what something is/does, don't touch it.
    Rule 5. While brewing, I don't want to catch anybody not drinking.
    Rule 6. There is no Rule 6.
    Rule 7. Wash, rinse, repeat, sanitize.

    Amendment I. Per Rule 4, if "that something" is on fire - don't touch it, but please let me know.


  19. Default Re: The rules of our meaderies!

    Oh I forgot my rule: "Vinegar is not allowed on the floor where mead is being handled or exposed."

  20. #20

    Default Re: The rules of our meaderies!

    My #1 Rule:

    Don't touch that. Don't touch! Don't touch! MAMA, COME TAKE THIS BOY!!!

    -David


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