Also is there a simple strip of "paper" I can add to the brew that estimates % alcohol? Kind of like a breathalyser...
A breathalyser is a very interesting thing to ask about. It might be fun to take a sample of air from the headspace of a batch and push it through a breathalyzer to see if it correlates with the ABV. You'd probably be able to publish a nice article in Zymurgy or some other journal.
Labs have a variety of methods to measure alcohol including spectrophotometry, and chromatography and for a true measurement you can send a sample to a wine lab. That's probably overkill for most of us.
The method mentioned above, using an estimate of original gravity and the current gravity will work for the calculations.
You can also take a hydrometer reading and a refractometer reading at the same time and use a formula to calculate the ABV. There are websites with calculators online such as vinocalc that you can plug the numbers into for easy use. There is a thread here, if you search, on improving on these formulas if you are into the math.
There is another method called "spirit indication" where you boil off the alcohol and take hydrometer readings. There's a calculator on vinocalc that will work the numbers. If you search SPIRIT INDICATION you'll find some threads that discuss it. To be close to accurate you really need fine-scale hydrometers.
All of the home methods will give you an ESTIMATE of ABV. None of them are perfect and you may be +/- 1% or more easily so try not to get too worked up over it.
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