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  1. Default Computer funny - long!

    Okay, so this is way not related to mead, but I just had to share this with people who would prolly find it as funny as I do.

    Background: I have been on computers for a loooong time. My dad got his tech degree back when his senior project involved punchcards and vaccuum tubes and has been in the computer industry ever since. Consequently there has always been a computer at our house ever since I can remember. He still has his Altair (well, different brand, but same thing) as well as the ancient Compaq "laptop" that is the size of a large piece of luggage with a 4" monochrome screen and 2 floppy drives (5 and a quarter, true "floppies"). I think it has a hard drive large enough to hold the operating system - DOS. I have done the floppy shuffle, watched Windows launch 3.1, and become absolutely awestruck as the internet came to be. I am not a programmer, or administrator. My husband calls me a power user - I know just enough about how Windows systems run to thoroughly mess them up if I wanted to, but not how to fix it again

    So lately, I have gone through the eternal search for the computer that won't crash. Or at least not two or three times a day. I have waded through several upgrades (hardware and software), realized that my hard drive was thoroughly corrupted by the sheer number of viruses, adware, and spyware on it, and nearly said "BLEEP IT! I'm turning AMISH!" But alas, the lure of the internet . . .

    My husband finally switched me over to linux. He wouldn't allow me any kind of administrative power on the system, mostly cuz I had fought with him about switching me so much in the first place ("Honey, I'm a DOS girl. I've had to be on a unix environment before and it was like DOS on acid!") and a lot because I didn't know my way around. But I agreed that an OS that hardly anybody wrote viruses for was a good thing. And so it was, until I realized the utter lack of the types of software I wanted to run. And then my system crashed. Again and again and again.

    Finally I said enough is enough. I want a computer that won't crash on me, that isn't subjected to thousands of viruses everytime I get online, that I don't have to wait until my husband comes home not exhasted from work to get support, and that I can buy commercial software for. Hubby said, ummm okay, but I was planning on going to Fry's and picking you up components and building you an all new system for about $500 after we get the money from selling our house, and putting a locked down version of XP on it. Nuh uh. I told him that for the same amount of money, I could get a Mac, and that's what I wanted (I already have a 19" flat panel monitor and wireless mouse and keyboard - no need to upgrade those *grins*).

    And then my husband bought a PS2. and I looked at him. "You know that in less than a week I will be stuck in that big house all day long with no company but a 3 year old, a dog, 2 cats, and a broken computer. And no car. I will go crazy without access to the outside world." He said he knows.

    So to keep his wife happy, a couple of days ago, he goes to Fry's and gets me my new mac mini. I thought he was just being super sweet and getting it early when he called and made sure which one I wanted. I realized he was just covering himself for when I saw what else he brought home - the components for his gaming system. He knows I would have turned into a banshee if he hadn't brought mine home, too.

    So, I took mine out of the box, attached the power cable and the monitor, and bluetoothed my new keyboard and mouse, click click click and away I go!! Yipppee! And dear hubby? Well, his system is still in many many pieces despite many hours of trying to upgrade the BIOS and get the freaking thing to work. *snicker snicker* His may be theoretically 5 times more powerful than mine, but mine is not just theoretical. *grins* I love pointing at his box and laughing as I cruise around on mine. *big maniacal grins*

    Sorry this is so long, I guess I have a problem writing short stories *grins*

  2. Default Re: Computer funny - long!


    Not to be a punk...

    but if you're using Mac OS X... you're using Unix.


  3. Default Re: Computer funny - long!

    Oh, I know! that's one of the things I like about it actually. I like the stability of a unix platform (as my husband says, people who write viruses assume your OS uses things like a C prompt *grins*), I just didn't like how non-user-friendly the original unix system I was on (years ago, straight unix) was. And basically how non-DOS it was ("lf why can't they just use dir?"). When I got onto linux a couple of years ago, it was better (nice GUI), but since my husband had locked me out of almost everything, I couldn't download, and had a lot of problems finding drivers. Mac OSX seems to be a good compromise between usability and stability.

  4. #4

    Default Re: Computer funny - long!


    Dual G5 Powermac here. With dual 19in LCDs

    I agree Scout! My Dad used to Work at IBM, I learned on a Mainframe in 1977 when I was in 2nd grade, my dad used to take me to work with him when School was out. They had an assortment of text games, including Zork!!! I've used just about everything... They had to drag me kicking & screaming from Dr. DOS, which always seemed to be at the cutting edge of DOS. Long story short...,1044.0.html

    Nothing comes close to the balance of reliability & breadth of software of OS X, IMHO.


    PS - You've locked him out of your MacMini, haven't you, Mrs. Devilish.

  5. Default Re: Computer funny - long!

    Wrath, my housemate looks up from his powerbook after I read this out to him and my husband, and spews some insults vaguely insinuating things about your heritage. He is jealous. And he is threatening to go into my mini and change my passwords.

    Yup, Mr. Devilish is locked out, though. *big grins*

    So, my hubby has sorta got his system up and running, but my housemate is saying that if he can't get it totally running, instead of putting Linux on it like hubby is threatening the system with, my housemate wants to try and place OSX on it. And is grinning gleefully and devilishly. I think my husband just forgot the chicken sacrifice that is always required when bringing a Windows system to life . . . .

  6. #6

    Default Re: Computer funny - long!

    Warning!!! Inuendo

    Quote Originally Posted by scout
    ....and spews some insults vaguely insinuating things about your heritage. He is jealous.
    Jealous of my heritage? LOL! Then I must be a F*ing Bastard.

    Quote Originally Posted by scout
    He is threatening to go into my mini and change my passwords.
    Tell him to go play with his laptop, and to keep his filthy hands off of your box.

    Now, about that duct tape... I can resist everything except temptation.


  7. Default Re: Computer funny - long!

    You can always change passwords from the Unix console in OSX, provided you were the one that created that account. It is kinda' like the administrator in Unix, superseeds all others.
    You might want to purchase Virtual PC, it allows you to install and run Windows and Win. apps on your Mac.


  8. #8

    Default Re: Computer funny - long!

    Quote Originally Posted by Brewbear
    You might want to purchase Virtual PC, it allows you to install and run Windows and Win. apps on your Mac.
    That's like buying a Ferrari and modifying it to perform like a Yugo.


  9. Default Re: Computer funny - long!

    That may be so,
    But even a Yugo get you where you go...eventually :P


  10. #10

    Default Re: Computer funny - long!

    Quote Originally Posted by Brewbear
    But even a Yugo get you where you go...eventually :P
    Really? Ever try to keep one running? Like Windows, if it breaks chances are you'll be praying for an upgrade.


  11. Default Re: Computer funny - long!

    Ted, I gotta go with Wrathwilde on this one *grins*. Since I am the ultimate "gamer's girlfriend" (i.e., I like to watch people play video games, but don't actually like playing any - so I'll never get good enough to beat said boyfriend), what the heck do I need Windows for? I have my word processor, spreadsheet program, internet, music, web design, and graphics programs all native to MacOS. That's basically what I use a computer for, so why would I fart around with Virtual PC?

    If I were a gamer, it would be different. Or a programmer. But like I said, I'm just a user. Not even a power user anymore, cuz I seriously don't know enough about Macs to mess anything up big time. Give me a couple of months *grins*

  12. Default Re: Computer funny - long!

    Yugos run good...downhill LOL.
    Scout, you might want to visit Their program is free, is is like Microsoft Office. There is one other site that i would reccomend but I have the Mac at work and now I'm home sampling some beer that just spent 1 week in the fridge I'll get back to you on that site, it is full of apps for macs, free and trials.
    BTW check out the podcasts, several are on brewing

    Ted - beer good, work bad!

  13. #13

    Default Re: Computer funny - long!

    Quote Originally Posted by scout
    (5 and a quarter, true "floppies").
    Original floppies disks were 8 inch, 5.25's were called floppy diskettes because of their smaller size. The 5.25 standard size was set in a bar in Boston...

    Adkisson asked Wang what size he thought the disks should be, and Wang pointed to a napkin and said "about that size". Adkisson took the napkin back to California, found it to be 5-inches (13 cm) wide, and developed a new drive of this size storing 110 KB (KiB).

    Odd moments in computer history.

    October 1969, Birth of the internet... the first long distance connection between two computers resulted in the transmission of two letters. Trying to log on... they got as far as LO when the system crashed. Sounds like 'ello doesn't it?


  14. Default Re: Computer funny - long!

    Hey Scout,
    Check out


  15. Default Re: Computer funny - long!

    You realize you are evil, Ted, and must be destroyed, right?

    Makes a note to return once I have acquired my new external hard drive. . . .

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